there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
