Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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