thus making me awesome and them whores
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
