my vag is so smooth its legendary
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
