Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
