I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I think I won the penis lottery.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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