But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Randomize
