That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
