think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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