Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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