Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
