"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
