why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
i out mim tonsoeep
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
