I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Found your dick twin last night
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
