ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
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