Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
