After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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