yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Ladies don't puke and tell
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
