i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
