I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
