what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
