Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
