Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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