I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
