trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
