ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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