ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
