and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I licked your asshole in confidence.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
