i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
