I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
