Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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