So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
