if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
