And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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