The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Randomize
