Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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