"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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