Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Everything about him screamed your future.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
