she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
