Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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