I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Randomize
