You're so nebulous sometimes
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
