She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
