what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Randomize
