please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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