Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
