My hair reeks of homosexuality.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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