I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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