Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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