if i can run in heels then i can drive
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
