paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
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