Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
