ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
